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CHILDREN GOING ABROAD TO STUDY: A CANDID ADVICE FOR PARENTS

Posted by: Benjamin Onuorah

Shared and posted by Sen Rilwan Adesoji Akanbi

I have a neighbor who sent her adolescent child for elementary school in America while she lives with her husband in Nigeria. Some of us did it from high school, some from undergraduate levels.

The immediate thought of most parents who could afford such expensive investments in their children is giving them the best of education in a better environment.

Most of us tend to forget education is not all about academics, educating a child includes learning about cultures, ways of life, behavioral patterns, etiquettes.
Sending your children abroad at tender ages while you do not live with them is not different from distance relationship between a husband and wife. You are extremely lucky if you can sustain the relationship afterwards.

A friend came into my house about 4 years ago, bringing her 16-year old daughter for my advice. She got an admission to study Engineering in a Canadian university as an undergraduate. The two of them sat down while I asked basic questions about her dad’s finances. He told me how he was going to sell his only land to raise the tuition.

I asked him what he would sell the following year, he was speechless. I asked if he was going to abandon a 16-year old girl in a foreign land without being able to check on her regularly and also bring her back home when on holidays, he couldn’t respond.

I turned to the young lady and gently advised her not to put her parents under undue pressure. I told her to take the option of going into a University in Nigeria, and she could go for a masters program abroad when she is done. She saw reasons, agreed with me and took the option of going into a Nigerian private university.

A few days ago, the father called me with so much excitement, the daughter had been given a student visa to study for a masters degree in the most prestigious Engineering school in the whole of Canada. Getting an admission to study Engineering in that University as an undergraduate requires a minimum of 96 average from high school.

What has she really lost? Nothing. Rather, she has had the opportunity to develop well in her own environment before launching into a foreign land while under the tutelage of her parents.

My candid advice to younger parents, please, do not be in a hurry to push your children out, education is not only about academics. There are a lot involved in parenting and a child becoming a total person.

It is not to your advantage when your children are too far away from you as they develop. You have a higher chance of losing relationships with them when they are too far away from you, and all your investments gone into ruins.

Home or abroad, a child that would succeed will succeed. Even though there could be more opportunities for them outside but it is not automatic. It is survival of the fittest out there, extremely tough to be above average.

Nigerian parents, please stop putting yourself under undue financial pressure in a rat race to send your children abroad especially at tender ages.

How about the risk losing out completely when the parents grow old as the children are completely alienated from a home environment they aren’t familiar with? Another topic for another day.

Blessed all the hard working and committed parents

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